The contract debacle

I have always been a "drink the cool-aid" type of employee. I got excited at Gap rallies (yes, in 1998, I attended at Gap rally and actually had a good time. Don't judge me), I participate in team building events and I - until recently - have believed that my employer usually acted with my best interests in mind (even if that best interest meant me having to take a two week furlough so the whole company didn't go under - better to go two weeks unpaid than have no employment at all). Unfortunately, this meant that I was very often taken advantage of at my previous job. Eventually I got tired of being treated poorly and left, vowing to never be treated that way again.

Very recently, I was offered a new position at a new ballet company in Portland and they basically offered me exactly the job I told them I wanted. We agreed on a salary and sent me a contract. When I eventually got my work weeks (there are very few 52-week a year jobs in the arts. Most of the positions have a few lay-off weeks built in), I was at my current job, so I just printed it out and put it in my bag. When I got home, I pulled out my weeks and was stunned to see so many lay-off weeks. I called Bradley in a panic; I only had three full months of employment, two months of partial employment and I would have a four month gap between contracts. We looked and tried to figure out how to make it all work - Bradley even suggested his getting a second job, but in the end we figured out that we could save more money if I took a job as a legal assistant in Seattle for $15/hr than if I accepted this job the way it was. So I wrote my new bosses and told them I could not afford to take the job with as many lay-off weeks as there were.

I was equal parts terrified and proud of myself. It was the first timeI had really stood up to an employer, really made sure that I was taking care of myself rather than being a martyr for my job. For the following week, we talked on the phone several times - they seemed shocked at my reaction. They appeared to have meeting after meeting all about me. I stuck to my guns. Either I got fewer lay-off weeks or it wasn't going to work.

I'll skip to the punch line - I was looking at the wrong schedule. I had been looking at the dancers' schedule, not my own. It turned out that when I printed the attachment, the column that had been highlighted in yellow so I would surely see it, didn't print. When the new company called to tell me that they couldn't afford me, we realized my mistake. Even though this happened 5 days ago, I am still mortified. I think about how much of everyone's time I wasted, how much stress they had because of me and I am completely embarrassed and wish I could take it all back. Why is it that the first time I decide to stick up for myself, I am completely and totally wrong?!?! *sigh*